A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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