when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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