now i know why i became what i already was.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
