I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
