my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
