This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
