I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
