it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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