Screwed.edu
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
