i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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