So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
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You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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