He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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