if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
