I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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