Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
