high people should be assigned attendants
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
