your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
