also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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