you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We are two peas in an std pod
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
