CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
