just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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