There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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