I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
