My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
