i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
