To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
