i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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