You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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