She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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