i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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