Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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