I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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