if i can run in heels then i can drive
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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