that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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