I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
