The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize