She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
