I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have aggressive nipples.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
