he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
