I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
