Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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