The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
