uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sext me about skeletons
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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