How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
