are you still at the devil's house?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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