I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you made out with another girl for some wings
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
