wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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