i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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