I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
