dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
