Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
