Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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