He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if only i could text you this smell
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
