and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize