tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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