he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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