Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
