just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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