her vagine was all disorganized.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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