so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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